Praying with 40 Days for Life

Today a friend and fellow pro-life group member and I travelled up to London to take part of the 40 Days for Life vigil outside of the BPAS centre in Bedford Square. For those of you who don't know or have never been 40 Days for Life is a peaceful campaign of prayer outside of abortion clinics and centres, like BPAS, that refer women for abortions which takes place in various locations across the country as well as all over the world. One thing that I have found is that people assume that this sort of pro-life outreach is very aggressive, lots of shouting and banner waving and generally trying to force their view upon others but this couldn't be further from the truth. The vigil is peaceful and prayerful, those volunteers who come along do so out of a love for those who are going through a crisis pregnancy as well as their unborn children (as well as those who have previously had abortions) and do not want to cause them any additional distress. What we have discovered as a group from talking to people who have had abortions is that they, more often not, felt as though they had no choice; their partner/boyfriend/husband was pressuring them to do it, their parents were ashamed and wanted them to abort, they were faced with difficulties at work which pushed them to do it. They had no one listen to what they wanted (sometimes they weren't even asked!) and even though they know that things like adoption exist, in that time of stress and panic they chose what felt as though it was the only way out, a decision they now regret. What the campaign aims to do is to show women that there are other options; if they don't want the baby they can choose adoption, if they feel that they can't financially support a child there are many, many ways to do this now, if they are facing abusive situations they can be helped to get out of them, if they are alone then there are lots of people who can help support them and if they have had an abortion in the past or have been affected by one they can be put in touch with a counsellor to help them to deal with this loss. The volunteers don't approach people as they enter but stand quietly over the road, praying the rosary and similar prayers. If someone comes up and speaks to us we do, of course, speak to them but we don't try to stop people entering the centres. We pray for them amongst ourselves. There are the odd hecklers (there were three when I was up there on Friday) but mostly people look but pass on by.

I feel I now have to blog about something that happened later on which is not part of the campaign but does worth mentioning. I apologise for my poor retelling of this but I hope you can see why I wanted to relate it. After our hour there my friend and I had lunch and after we'd warmed up we started back for the train station. To do so we walked past the vigil again and we saw that the local pro-choice group had set up their table behind them and one young woman had sellotaped a banner to the ground a short distance in front of them that read "These people tell LIES about abortion." I slowed my pace and we both read it as we walked by and the woman herself then said that the pro-lifers spread lies about abortion. I told her I didn't agree, she said that was my opinion, I then pointed to her slogan said and that this was simply hers. To my shame I was going to carry on walking but my very courageous friend stopped and we had what then became a very interesting and worthwhile conversation. I owe my friend a great big thank you! What was so good about this conversation was that we each took the time (albeit briefly as we did, alas, have a train to catch) to listen to each other's point of views (one of the other pro-choice group came over to talk to us too) and discuss them. Had we had more time we could all have had a coffee together and had a very fascinating discussion I'm sure!! My friend spoke about her own abortion, the pro-choice lady had had one too, and she said how she deeply regretted it as she knew that that action had ended another life. The pro-choice lady (sorry, I don't want to use names or descriptions of people without permission) said she felt the pro-lifers were intimidating, we responded to that by saying we want to highlight there are other options; both my friend and other people we both know have, as I previously said, felt pushed into it, no other options were given in any of the stories we told her which she agreed was wrong. She also said she felt that, on both sides of the argument, it was male-dominated; men telling women to abort or not abort and she thought too that the pro-life movement was mainly men; we told our group is all women and we are not anti-woman in any way. My friend said she'd become involved in this peaceful movement due to her own abortion and I told her that I had because I did not believe that anyone, under any circumstances had the right to take the life of another which is why I would also never support euthanasia or the death penalty (if there were ever a push for it to be legalised once more). What we both found quite interesting is that she agreed with me totally in this view, we were coming from the same starting place but she didn't consider an unborn baby a baby. I wish we'd had longer to talk about this as we did start talking about when life begins and it really was good to discuss it. What we all agreed before my friend and I dashed off for the train was that the two sides should talk more as we'd all got something out of our brief and polite exchange.

After we left I did feel very bad that I would have just carried on walking and I have no excuse as to why. Perhaps I let my own fear or misguided bias of what the other side might have to say but what I discovered is that we actually do have a lot of common ground but differ on some very key and essential points (I didn't see the common ground side of it before) and we should really engage with each other more often. Even if ultimately we agree to disagree we can't expect to make a difference, to change minds and hearts without properly listening to one another, hearing what we each have to say and explaining our points of view. And how can we properly witness to the truth if we don't take up the opportunities to do so?! Thank you so much, again, to my fellow pro-life as she did a great thing today and I won't just walk on next time!!

Praying for an end to abortion

Today we have our first blog post by group member Chris (but due to technical issues it has my name at the bottom!!!)

40 Days For Life is an international campaign that, usually, runs twice a year and hold a peaceful vigil of prayer opposite the headquarters of the British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS) in Bedord Square, London. Katherine and I went there on Sunday to show our support and also to see if it was something that the Parish might like to support in the future.

The vigil at the corner of Bedford Square, as you can see it
remained well attended after we retreated to find coffee!

We were booked into the 1pm to 2pm slot and arrived, much to our astonishment, at exactly the right time. We found three people at the vigil and in front of them were three boards, showing what the vigil was for and also a large sign with a passage from the Bible on it. The people were very welcoming and pleased to see us, especially the two Polish ladies, who had been standing there for two hours and we're rather cold! We took their place and had a chat with the man, Martin (who we assumed was one of the co-ordinators of the vigil), who was there.

He said that the Polish community had been very supportive of the vigil. He said that there was another vigil up the road and, between them, they had already saved 35 babies from being aborted. The other week, a Pro Choice group set up near them and began shouting abuse. A lady who works nearby came over to the Pro Life group and said that, although she didn't necessarily share their views, she was disgusted by the other group's behaviour. While we were there, only one person said a negative comment as he passed by. Most people looked and were respectful.

While we were there, we prayed as a group which was a beautiful and moving experience in itself as none of us knew each other but we had all been called there by our love for God and our neighbour. There was a blue book with various Scripture passages and prayers in it which we took turns to read aloud, we also said the Rosary. 

After an hour, we said our goodbyes and the man said that they'd be delighted if members from our Parish would be able to come to next year's vigil. Before heading home we stopped to light a couple of candles at the ever spectacular Westminster Cathedral. I'm really glad I went and I know Katherine feels the same. Please, please continue to pray for all those facing crisis pregnancies and for those helping with the vigil.

Blowing out the cobwebs

It's been a long time since we've posted anything on the St. John's Pro Life blog...in fact over the last few months all of our regular activities in the parish have lain rather dormant but, at our meeting last week, we decided to renew our efforts in all areas, including posting on here!

So to start us off I thought you could all see what we intend to do over the coming months. You can download our recent meeting minutes here or email me for a copy. We intend to take things slowly, not bite off more than we can chew, but do more nonetheless. We'll also put up on here all the things we intend to do as they come along. If you see anything in the minutes you'd like to comment on then please, by all means do, or if you'd like to get involved in anything then that would be amazing too! You can always contact me via email if you have questions about any of our upcoming activities.

It's good to be back, God bless!

Have a Pro-Life Lent

Whoops! Not the best start to Ash Wednesday... old habits die hard

Last week I placed an order to be delivered today from my milkman - a cut-price bumper box of chocolate biccies, end of Christmas stock.  The fact that today is Lenten Eve and the beginning of six weeks of giving up chocolate (Aila and me) and biscuits (hubby) hadn't quite registered.  Luckily the hand of God must have intervened (or the available stocks had already been snapped up by those frivolous souls* happy to guzzle their chocolatey way through Lent), as it wasn't delivered!

Now that I've got my act together, here are reminders of two ways to make your Lent fabulously pro-life... 

40 Days for Life
This has kicked off this evening, with a prayer vigil in Bedford Square, London, opposite an abortion facility.  The Vigil will continue between 8am-8pm every day from 22 February-1 April - see the 40 Days for Life website which has details of the campaign and its events.  If you can't physically join in, why not make it a Lenten resolution to pray the 40 days at home?  During previous 40 Days for Life campaigns our Pro Life group has suggested (by way of the church newsletter) that all parishioners pray a daily Hail, Holy Queen for pro-life causes and held our own all-night vigil before the Blessed Sacrament.
 

National Day of Prayer and Fasting for Life: Ash Wednesday

The Good Counsel Network are encouraging us all to engage in the spiritual battle for an end to abortion and euthanasia this Ash Wednesday.  Offer up your fasting and abstinence together with a Rosary in the knowledge that, as the Maria Stops Abortion blogsite reminds us, "the struggle to end abortion is a spiritual struggle and not merely one of practical concerns or politics".

No, not a giant slice of salami...

However you engage in prayer, fasting and alms-giving this Lent, have a blessed one!  I'm just off to brazenly over-eat, hopefully for the last time in the next few weeks, as Shrove Tuesday this year in our house is Pink Pancake Day - see photo.  (Aila's idea, and a delicious one, but I'm thinking we might try a different colour next year lest our aims be misunderstood.  Why must nice colours and words get hijacked?!)

*I realise I am making assumptions. Quite possibly they are worthy souls who, instead of giving up chocolate, are doing what I cannot do and forsaking wine/cheese instead!

The responsibilities of pro lifers

Today I popped over to Bump Babies Beyond, where Londonistar (who commented on Amanda’s excellent post about the 12-week scan) blogs (she can also be found at TowerTales).  Imminently expecting a baby, she describes herself as “Conservative in political outlook struggling and aspiring Catholic in faith. Welcome to a parenting journey from these perspectives.”  Do go over and have a look.  I’ll refer to her, with apologies, as “L” because I don’t know her real name.

My first stop was at the post L herself recommended us to read, The Politics of Personal.  In this she talks more about the experience of abortion following a 12-week scan, and her journey afterwards, that she related in her comment.  It’s a moving post that gives plenty of food for thought, but I’d just like to mention a couple of themes that particularly struck me.

After the scan (which was not straightforward) she and her partner had a big decision to make and she writes, “At that time of our lives we were horribly caught up in the abortion debate raging across the internet again and frankly I wondered whether people ever stop to think about the effect this has on the people caught up in it who are being fought over so bitterly…”  She continues this theme in a striking paragraph,

            “The internet is a ghastly place at times. Deep in among the anti abortion propaganda I was made to feel fearful and guilty. Guilty of what I wondered? Getting pregnant and facing this decision? We didn’t choose this lot in life.  Abortion is so casually debated that there is no distinction made between the women, or couples, who enter and exit those clinics. No allowances made. The bitter angry or prayerful judgment from people with little or no experience of the pain and heartache of it all or an understanding of who we are as people. This is a deeply personal situation. And it is not one I battled emotionally alone as a woman either. There are two broken hearts in this story.”

Finally she writes, “I am rather fed up with this sensitive issue being kicked around in such an ugly polarised debate. There seems little depth to the abortion debate other than placard proselytizing. Caught in the crossfire for so many months of that year in so many ways, I certainly feel it’s about time the debate matured.”

L concludes her post with a wish list that surely most pro-lifers will agree with: better guidance and support for parents in her situation so that a truly informed choice can be made, the greater promotion of adoption as an option, encouragement given to young people to think hard about what they are doing and about their responsibilities when they consider entering into a sexual relationship.  She emphasises that parents who have been through the abortion process (and she describes vividly the hurt it did her and the attitude of the Marie Stopes clinic she visited) should have their voices heard, as well as women and couples who are not in step with the pro-choice movement.  Perhaps more challengingly for some, she also writes,  “I want to see practical solutions for women and couples to avoid abortion not clinic protests”.  I’m not sure personally quite where I stand on clinic protests – I would happily say the Rosary outside an abortion clinic but I don't think I would stand there holding a photo of a dismembered foetus – but have a recurring sense of guilt about how much I do, or rather don’t do, to practically support those facing crisis pregnancies.

The reason I have quoted her post at such length (there’s more – do read it) is that I feel challenged by it.  Do I lump all those who have abortions into the same category, when in fact they will be from widely differing backgrounds and circumstances and possess motivations and attitudes that are as far from each other as chalk from cheese?  [Daft digression: who decided to compare those two particular substances in the first place...?!  And why??]  If I do, that is neither compassionate nor constructive.  Am I debating the ethics of abortion as though they were philosophical abstractions and forgetting the impact my words may have on those who are struggling with very real down-to-earth crises?  Am I more focused on trumping the other side (maybe using accusative language like “conspiracy of death” and describing “rivers of blood”) than on considering those I am trying to help?  And of course, those I am trying to help (in fact, on many levels, to save) includes not just the babies, but the mums and dads.

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” (1 Corinthians 13:1)  It is also worth remembering (to get a bit technical) that whilst the Catholic Church clearly says, “There are concrete acts which it is always wrong to choose” (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1761) because they are objectively wrong, it also says that the circumstances surrounding a human act, whilst not changing whether it is objectively right or wrong, can diminish the act’s moral evil or the responsibility of the person carrying it out (see CCC 1754). 

It is definitely not a question of compromising the truth to make people feel better.  The “don’t beat yourself up about it” or “abortion is sometimes so understandable that it’s actually really OK” approaches are unhelpful because you’re essentially just encouraging people to bury the demons of pain and guilt which will, sure as day is day and cheese isn’t chalk, claw and chew their way back up to the surface sooner or later.  It is, however, very much a question of speaking that truth compassionately and remembering the humanity and individuality of those you are addressing.  Especially as pro-lifers who believe in the intrinsic dignity and worth of every human person, we must never let the sensitivities and needs of those most concerned – those actually facing unintended pregnancies or receiving bad news at 12-week scans – get lost in the debate.

I’ve been thinking quite a lot recently not only about how to deliver an essentially simple moral message in a complicated world but also about how to discern the best course of action when picking one’s way through an ethical minefield.  For me this dilemma focuses on the area of medical research and potential treatments for my daughter’s Friedreich’s Ataxia.  But I think I’ve maundered on long enough, so that can wait for another post!

Best wishes to L from all our group and thank you for sharing your story in order to help others.   (Oh – and L’s site today features an interview with Nadine Dorries, whose proposals to bring in compulsory counselling before abortions caused controversy in both pro-choice and pro-life camps.)